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Haiku by ~daeira:icondaeira:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Haiku & Eastern


Snowballs zinging
through the air:
winter bees
©2006-2010 ~daeira
:icondaeira:

Author's Comments

Tried my hand at haiku a while back. Most of them didn't come out as I wanted them to, or they didn't quite come out as haiku, but this one I think survived the test. Not sure though; any hardcore haikuers out there who have any objections to this actually being one, do speak up :aww:

Comments


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:icondaeira:
~daeira May 4, 2006, 11:52:10 AM
Thank you! :)

--
and now for something completely different!
:iconmsjames:
`MSJames May 4, 2006, 6:02:43 PM
Hey, sorry it took so long for me to get back, but I'm swamped with haiku stuff now!

Well you've done an excellent job with this one, particularly the first two lines. I'm hesitant on the 'winterbees' part though, I think it should be 'winter's bees' and not one word.

Good show! :thumbsup:

--
~litNEWS, help us keep you informed.

may Beelzebub's scrotum rest firmly on your chin
:icondaeira:
~daeira May 4, 2006, 6:06:44 PM
Winter's bees eh. I might just change it to that. Thank you so much for stopping by! I gotta try do some more haiku now :)

--
and now for something completely different!
:iconmsjames:
`MSJames May 4, 2006, 6:16:15 PM
It really should be winter's bees, since there's really no such thing as winterbees. :) Haiku are ground in reality, 100%.

Yes, please do more, I think you are definatly getting the feel for it! :)

--
~litNEWS, help us keep you informed.

may Beelzebub's scrotum rest firmly on your chin
:icondaeira:
~daeira May 4, 2006, 8:45:22 PM
Promptly changed :nod:

--
and now for something completely different!
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
~zebrazebrazebra Jun 2, 2006, 7:39:51 AM
I'd make it just 'winter bees'. The posessive makes it a little too cluttered with alliteration, and 'winter bees' is still grounded in reality as is needed.

Anyway! This is really lovely. I just bought a massive haiku anthology, and I can see this fitting into it without any fuss...
:icondaeira:
~daeira Jun 2, 2006, 8:35:24 AM
I agree completely. Thank you so much for the very nice comment! :)

--
and now for something completely different!
:iconashhnative:
!Ashhnative Jun 9, 2006, 1:58:57 PM
Don't try haiku again. You suck.
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May 3, 2006
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